Fragility

Sex is just the touching of our souls,
The kissing of our breaths,
And the holding of our hearts’ crevices,
Of course it means nothing.

Universe

They said that
it takes 93 years
to traverse to Pluto
And there are
trillions of galaxies
stretching the space in my mind
So how can you say
you know me?

Dopamine

Chemistry is just a function of the brain,
So let me explain it neurologically,
Your lips cause the currents of my mind to rush,
A glance from you,
And my nerves spark electric,
My synapses threaten to fry, and your touch has me magnetized.

Heavenly

Angels get high off wings,
Get drunk off holy water,
Smoke off the rims of their halos,
And get down on their knees,
So when the kingdom comes crashing,
Don’t say you didn’t see the signs.

Milky Way

They say that
At the center of our galaxy,
There might be a black hole
—  Of course, from you,
I’ve learned to expect that  —
What your life revolves around
Eventually kills you.

Addict

I am full of strawberries,
But I am seeing the orange sunrise —
Maybe you are purged from my system,
Can’t tastes change?
I never wanted a fruit basket,
Just love,
Love,
Love.

Decide

I’m killing off choices like genocide,
I’m a murder in my homicide,
I threaten kings with my regicide,
The monster of pesticide,
Drinking buckets of cyanide,
The rivers will find me,
As I fall apart in the clutches of suicide.

Pierce

I disguise my heart as a dagger and shred myself to pieces,
I scream softly, but I keep the most important words silent,
I wrapped all my feelings in layers of diamonds,
Knowing that nothing can cut through,
But I forgot precious jewels get stolen,
I cough up my desires, but I melted all my fire,
I swim away in a basket of salt, 
Hoping dehydration will keep me quiet.

a drowned proposal

in our bed, in the spaces of our home,
we bring in our demons to share silver sheets,
touches and kisses — soft
and soon to be shaken,
i warn him, i’ve been hurt before so i might have scars,
and he pulls me closer,
you’ve been hurt before, i say, and he says he has,
tell me where, i ask, i want to help them heal,
he stutters and sputters, and the hurt pours out
a monsoon, flooding the bed built on dreams and a promise of a better world,
a dam not built up, a reservoir to come, but alone,
he pulls away. 

The Escapist

I trace the patterns we have known so well, and I find similarities in each and every one. The days pass, and we are silent and broken once more. Yet even so, I find myself less constrained than all the months that I was caught in the lines between us and not us. I try to see your reasoning, but in the end, my logic never extended so far into the unreal. I count my mistakes on our endless cycles. Were they enough to ruin us? I can never make myself believe they were. I look through open meadows and sky lit lakes to try to find you, but you run and hide in the clouds. I could never fly so high. You’re gone in your runaways. You escapist, why can’t you understand what this means? You prefer to live in your disillusion that it simply cannot work. I want to beg. Can we still try? I have heard the truth in your words so long ago. We have built up so many layers that we never pulled away. I am suffering in your lies as I reach for you. We should rip ourselves free. I stand here, and I know I am worth every single drop of effort that this requires. I have been so utterly devoted to you; I am valuable beyond belief. I don’t know how to make you less fearful, less unwilling to meet this mixed taste of failure and nostalgia. I know this could be great. I know this could be everything you need. I am holding myself in place until the day you come down to earth. Until then, I don’t know what to do. I have always been the turtle in the shell, cautious and easily frightened, except for this — for this I will fight to the death. You mean the most out of everything. Don’t expect me to surrender to your fears or to accept your half-mistaken dash to your imaginary world. I will meet the escapist, with all my letters and all my love and the truth of everything he is. Until then, I stand more in control in the bellows of the hurricane you set off and abandoned. Even so, I miss you; I miss you so much, you have been my reality for so long and now I have nothing to escape to. I will spend my years reaching for the clouds. We have tainted our memories for so long, and we have been bittersweet for so long.